10 Considerations for Choosing a Bridal Party: #6
Many a bride has grown up being “one of the guys.” Not that she is manly, but rather that her best friends are men (think My Best Friend’s Wedding or Valentine’s Day). Is it okay to ask a male best friend to be in your bridal party?
Sure. Bridal parties don’t have to be confined by tradition; they can assume the meaning that you find significant, and if that means all of your best friends, then you can have all of your best friends regardless of gender standing with you at the altar.
Something to consider, however, is that no matter how benign your relationship is with your male best friend, if your fiancé feels threatened by it, then you should not have your best friend in your bridal party.
Even if your fiancé’s fears seem unreasonable to you, he is the man you will be married to. He is that man whom you are choosing above all others. His opinion is the one you need to respect, even at a cost to yourself.
There are ways that you can honor your male best friend and still respect your fiancé. Chris had his four closest girl friends be the ushers at our wedding, which worked great by me, allowed him room in his bridal party to invite the seven guy friends he wanted, and met a need we had for ushers. Or you could have your best friend do a reading at the wedding or walk your grandmothers down the aisle.
Other weddings have included the men from the bride’s side, whether close friends or brothers, on the groom’s side. Sometimes this is done for the mere convenience of the time the bridal parties spend together (it might be strange for your one guy “bridesman” to join your bridesmaids and you at your bachelorette party, at the nail salon, or in the dressing room the morning of), having nothing to do with awkwardness between the fiancé and the bridesman.
I think the best case scenario is that your guy best friend would befriend your fiancé and vice-versa such that your dynamic in both relationships can appropriately change, allowing your fiancé to be the main man in your life. If this is the case, then your fiancé might want your best friend on his side.
If your fiancé is fine with your having a guy in your bridal party, then you can proceed as you like. The logistical parts of how that works might be more of a challenge, but they would be well worth it.
The one wedding I was in that had a guy on the bride’s side had the bridal party stand in pairs around the altar (girl, guy, girl, guy…). Then the extra guy on the groom’s side stood at one end and the guy on the bride’s side stood on the other end. Visually, it looked wonderful, although they garnered a good laugh from the crowd as they walked down the aisle together.
Whatever you decide, do so prayerfully and with the blessing of your fiancé. Your bridal party will be nothing short of fabulous.
Photo @ Heidi van der Westhuizen
Article originally posted on January 24, 2011.