Have you sat down with your fiancé and prayed about what your purpose as a couple is?  I’m not talking about your career, financial, geographical, or family goals but rather about what you two can do together for God’s kingdom that no other couple can.  Why did God give you each other?

Syncing up your goals and learning to co-habitate well together is vital to a healthy marriage, but it barely scratches the surface on the potential you have as a couple.  Do you ever sit and dream together about the big picture?  Assuming no limitations, but only based on the passions God has put in each of you and the faith to do His will, what life do you give yourselves?  Who gives testimony on your behalf when your lives on earth are complete, and what do they say?  In other words, what legacy would the purpose of your lives as a married couple leave behind?

Dreaming together can be an exercise from which to draw out your shared values and your complementary passions and gifts.  What ultimate purpose do those add up to?  Your marriage purpose will change from season to season, so you might direct your exercise towards 5 years, 10 years, 25 years, 50 years, and 75 years.  Pray about a purpose for each of those markers in your life.

Your career, financial, geographical, and family goals, when given from God, are a great blue-print for fulfilling your marriage purpose.  How can the pursuit of those goals further you in discovering, refining, expressing, and achieving your purpose? And how can you seek those goals purposefully? If you find those goals serving more as an obstacle course than a blue-print, then you will know to rethink them.

Marriage should not be two individuals living their own lives together; it should be two individuals joining as one team to live a life that no other team can live.

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