The Sweet Christian Bride

10 Considerations for Choosing a Bridal Party: #4

by admin on December 13, 2012 in Bridal Party with No Comments

Consideration #4: Whose friendships have been integral to your identity or to your relationship with your fiancé?

Who has proven a pivotal influence in your life?  Or if you have many newer friends, whose life direction will continue to interweave with yours?

The reason why this is an important consideration in choosing your bridesmaids is because the most significant part of being a bridesmaid is the commitment to support the bride and groom’s marriage.  You want people who know you and who will continue to root and fight for your marriage.

Having said this, relationships are unpredictable, so there is no rigid definition for who that bridesmaid will be.  What this kind of friendship and support looks like to you is something that only you and God can define.

Sometimes He will want to bless you with friends for your wedding season who might then be out of your life.  Other times, God will use your tried and true life-long friend or sibling who has loved you and always will love you.

One of my bridesmaids was a close friend during senior year of college.  Since then, we have never been in the same city (except for my wedding) and are only able to “catch up” once every six months or so, but she was the perfect choice for my bridesmaid.

She loved me at a pivotal time in my life when I was figuring out who I was.  Not only did she love me through that mess of a season, but she was such a strong emotional support for me during the wedding weekend and an incredible asset to the wedding planning.  Best of all, she loves Chris and cares about my marriage, even if she and I only manage to talk twice a year.

Another bridesmaid of mine was my truest friend in high school and was involved in the turning point of my faith.  She and I rarely saw each other post-college because of the busyness of our lives, but the nature of our relationship’s foundation on the lasting love of Christ allowed us to pick right back up and feel like nothing was missing.  She too was the perfect choice for my bridesmaid.

Additionally, I deeply valued the presence of my bridesmaids who were everyday friends in that stage of my life.  Because they were involved in the daily details of my relationship with Chris—the dramatic and the ordinary—they have become the ones whom I lean on to this very day.  They are the ones whom I rush to with good news.  They are the ones who actively check in with me about my marriage.  These women, though an entirely different angle of significance, were also perfect choices for my bridesmaids.

Whether you lean more towards the lasting aspect of friendships or towards the influential, you will make a great decision when it is prayerful.  Again, there is no rigid standard for which friend makes the perfect bridesmaid.  However you consider the significance of your friendships, choose bridesmaids who are meaningful to you and to your soon-to-be marriage.

Photo © Rachael Siebenaler, RS Pix, featuring Lindsay and Chris’ wedding

Article originally published on January 19, 2011.

By Lindsay

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