The Sweet Christian Bride

10 Reasons for the Christian Bride To Marry a Christian Man: Reason 2

by admin on June 21, 2012 in Spouse with No Comments

Reason 2: A Common Foundation for Finances 

Money, money, money… yes, money is awesome!  Money is the means by which we provide and give.  It can bring such blessing and can multiply creativity and imagination.  But the love of money, rather than the appreciation of it, can destroy us.

Did you know that issues over money and sex are the two biggest conflicts that lead to divorce?  It makes sense that money would be one of these major dividing factors because of how tightly we cling to it. 

Chris and I did a Crown Financial Bible study when we were engaged, and in the materials, we came across a profoundly true and terrifying illustration of people’s devotion to money.  During the Crusades, there were more holy battles to fight than holy men to fight them, so mercenaries were hired.  Because these were holy battles, the mercenaries were required to be consecrated in the river.  Every part of them immersed in the river was thought to be set aside for holy purpose.  As they dunked in the water, they submerged all of themselves except for their swords in hand because those were not holy.  They were being left for slaughter and rage and barbarism. 

The illustration showed us what we often do with our wallets.  We dunks ourselves enthusiastically in the water saying, “I’m all Yours, God,” but we keep our wallets out of the water because they are not set aside for God’s glory; they are kept for ours.

God calls us to be good stewards of the money that He blesses us with.  It’s His money, and we are just taking care of it for Him.  When we meet Him again one day, we are going to look our master in the face and show Him how we cared for His money better than if it were our own.

 As a married couple, you and your fiancé will get to be stewards of God’s money together.  What an exciting team to be a part of!  What you make will be his, and what he makes will be yours.  Together you will budget, together you will earn, together you will save, and together you will give.  When you buy something, you will consider how your purchase benefits your husband and vice versa.  Being stewards together can be dynamic and unifying to the core because your attitude towards money nearly always reflects your attitude towards God. 

 Unfortunately, the converse of this is also true.  Sharing money can be the rift between spouses that keeps each spouse fighting for his and her own survival and agenda.  It can be the plank in their eyes that keeps them from clearly seeing who God is.

 So what does it mean to be a good steward?  Start with the premise that God owns everything in the heavens and earth and that He alone gives riches and honor[i]; your money is on loan from God, and He promises to give you a good return on money that you faithfully give back to Him[ii].  He also promises to provide for you when you are faithful to Him[iii].

Scripture instructs good stewards to give to God[iv], give to others[v], save to provide for their families[vi], pay taxes[vii], work hard[viii], and invest wisely[ix].  What that means specifically to you and your fiancé is something that only God can define for you.  But however God defines it, you will thrive in your relationship if you and your fiancé are both seeking His will in your finances.

Take tithing, for example.  Tithing is the one place in the Scriptures where God says to test Him:

Will anyone rob God?  Yet you are robbing me!  But you say, ‘How are we robbing You?’ In your tithes and offerings!  You are cursed with a curse, for you are robbing me—the whole nation of you.  Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, so that there may be food in my house, and thus put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts; see if I will not open the window of heaven for you and pour down for you an overflowing blessing. (Malachi 3:8-10)

Clearly our Lord cares deeply that we trust Him enough to tithe fully in amount and in attitude.  He designed the Church to be taken care of by the Church.  We see this with the Levites (basically, the priests) who did not receive an allotment of their own, but were instead given the first-fruits (the tithes) of the eleven other tribes.  Paul echoes this beautiful design when he writes to Timothy that we should give back to the leaders in church who teach us.[x] 

Tithing is a difficult discipline even when you do trust God, but could you imagine if you had to tithe on your and your husband’s hard-earned income if he didn’t believe God was who He said He was?  Your husband would probably feel like you were robbing him for an absurd act of altruism. 

Tithing isn’t logical unless you trust the Truth of the Lord.  Having a common foundation of Christ in your marriage will give you a solid rock to stand on together when you make financial decisions for good stewardship. 

Have you and your fiancé talked about your financial goals and systems?  Who will be writing the checks and reviewing your statements?  What system will you create to ensure that you each have a portion of discretionary money within your joint account?  Have you ever budgeted before?  Are you bringing debt into your marriage?

There are fabulous Christian Bible studies out there that can help bring you and your fiancé to the same page financially.  Chris was very heavily “faith-based” in his finances, and I was very heavily “works-based” in mine.  We took a course from Crown Financial that helped us to shed the extremes that we had ingrained in our heads and to find the middle ground according to Scripture.  Before the course, we had splitting, dead-end fights about money, but since that course, miraculously, we have not been in disagreement about core financial issues even to this day!

During your engagement and first years of marriage when you are working out what it means to be a team in your stewardship, cling to the instruction that Jesus gives: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things [provision, etc.] will be added unto you” (Luke 12:31).  The process of working it out isn’t the easiest, but the team for Christ that you are working towards is the most thrilling partnership you will ever have!

[i] 1 Chronicles 29:11

[ii] Proverbs 11:24-25, 2 Corinthians 9:6-11, Malachi 3:10

[iii] 2 Corinthians 9:10-11; Philippians 4:19

[iv] Proverbs 3:9-10

[v] Luke 18:22

[vi] 1 Timothy 5:8

[vii] Luke 20:22-25

[viii]Colossians 3:23-24

[ix] Ecclesiastes 11:2

[x] 1 Timothy 5:17-18

By Lindsay

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