The Sweet Christian Bride

Guest Post by Kelly Saylor, MACC, LPCA, LMFTA: Preparations after the Wedding Day

by admin on March 12, 2013 in Pre-Marital Counseling, Relationship with 2 Comments

Preparations after the Wedding Day!

By Kelly Saylor, MACC, LPCA, LMFTA

It is never too early to start protecting your marriage…even if you just got the engagement ring!  We spend so much time preparing for that wedding day and do not focus our efforts on what takes place after the wedding.  That is what I want to help you start to do today!  I want the best for your marriage, and I want to go ahead and give you a few tips that you will be able to carry with you past your beautiful wedding day!

One area that a couple needs to be sure to grow and nurture is one of basic friendship and admiration. When a couple first meets they need no one to tell them how to pursue or how to respond to their desired mate. The knowledge and the desire are there. Within marriage, we as humans have the tendency to drift toward laziness, and when this enters our marital relationship, it can be very damaging. It is important to enact wise habits that help protect your relationship from this laziness and helps the relationship to grow deeper and stronger. A few of these wise habits are:

1.) Date Nights – You may be very tired of hearing and/or reading about “date nights,” but there is a reason it continues to show up in marital enrichment literature: It works. It is important to carve out that weekly time for our mate. When you do, you are saying a few important things:

a. You are important to me; you are a priority.

b. I enjoy being with you.

c. There is still so much to do with you and learn about you.

When planning date nights, alternate who plans them and when it is your turn, focus on what your mate would love to do.  It is a wonderful opportunity to show love.

2.) Daily Compliments – Yes, another seemingly easy tip, but daily compliments are very important and, depending where you are in your relationship, could be very challenging. Throughout the years in marriage it is amazing how our focus changes. When a relationship starts, we can only see the positive and as years pass within marriage the negative can become magnified. It is important to daily renew your mind to seeing what is lovely and good about your mate. Make a conscious effort to magnify the good daily.

3.) Check In:  Be sure to check in regularly (daily, weekly, etc.) about what your mate likes about your relationship and growth areas in your relationship. The reason this is important is there is usually one in the relationship that is not as assertive and tends to let things that are bothering them “build up.” When we have conversations like this regularly, it creates a space of safety to be honest and open and work together to strengthen the relationship.

4.) Conflict:  As hard as it may be to imagine, conflict will come in your marriage.  When it does I want to encourage you to focus your attention to Ephesians 6:12: “For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Many do not take this scripture and think about marriage, but I have seen it help marriages.  We have a very real enemy that wants to cause strife and break the unity within your relationship.  Keeping this in mind when you are fighting with your spouse reminds us of the following:

a. My spouse is not my enemy, but I do know the enemy loves what is happening right now.

b. My spouse is my teammate in life, not the opposing side.

c. How do I fight the enemy with my teammate?

There are so many wonderful tips that you can take into your marriage and build a very strong relationship with.  Pre-marital Christian counseling helps with this.  If you have any questions about finding pre-marital Christian counseling or helpful resources to build a strong marriage, you can contact me at  I hope your wedding day is beautiful and every day after that also!

Kelly Saylor is a licensed Christian counselor who works at Healing Solutions Counseling Center in Charlotte, NC.  She specializes in working with couples to help them maintain peace and joy in their relationship, as well as in training counselors and church staff to help them fulfill the same goal of preparing couples for strong marriages and enriching current marriages.

By Lindsay

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