“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10, KJV).

Peggy Bundy was the first television wife who ever made an impression on me.  I wasn’t actually allowed to watch the show Married with Children because of how vulgar it was, but I still managed to see enough of those episodes to know that I never wanted to be like Peggy Bundy.  Give me Clair Huxtable any day.

In the wake of dramas like Desperate Housewives and reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, we are inundated with archetypal pictures of wives that make marriage a farce: the nagger, the spender, the entitled, the cold-hearted, the siren, the over-programmed, the robot…

No wonder it’s hard to find a virtuous woman.  A woman of virtue is a woman set apart from cultural expectation and rooted instead in the values of Christ.  Virtue is God given and it demands daily discipline to protect it.  In other words, you don’t just fall into virtue.  It takes a strong choice and continual follow through.

The word virtuous here means strong.  It’s the same word used in Exodus 18:21 when Moses is instructed to pick qualified men to act as judges.₁  Other translations of Proverbs 31:10 use noble or capable.  “A capable wife, who can find?”

In a time when marriage is taken lightly and yet weddings have remained in demand, it’s easy to think that all you have to do to be a capable wife, or a virtuous wife, is to show up at the altar, to love your husband, to raise your kids as best you can, and to fulfill your vocational or ministerial dreams that you feel God has called you to.

Being a virtuous wife goes so far beyond saying “I do” and checking off the tasks necessary for meeting Christian expectations of having a “good” family.  It means surrendering yourself to Christ anew every day so that your life is not your own.  This is not to be taken lightly.  The service and submission that you offer in marriage, in parenting, and in career has little to do with whom you are married to, who your children are, and which job you have.  Service and submission are done unto Christ, for His glory, in the covenant of marriage, the charge of parenting, and the mission field of the work place.

It sounds a far cry from Peggy Bundy.  Truthfully, I’m glad.  She was miserable, insecure, and empty.  A life surrendered to Christ is one that is fulfilling.  The treasure stored up by a wife who surrenders to Christ is lasting, and the battles waged are played out in eternity.  Talk about significance!

John Gill states in his commentary of Proverbs 31: “The church is militant, has many enemies, and these powerful and mighty, as well as cunning and crafty; yet, with all their power and policy, cannot overcome her [the virtuous woman]; the gates of hell cannot prevail against her; she engages with them all, and is more than a conqueror over them; she is of great spiritual strength, which she, has from Christ, to fight the Lord’s battles, to withstand every enemy, to exercise grace, and do every good work.”₂

Can you see why a virtuous wife is worth far more than rubies?  What Christian man does not want a woman of integrity, of moral fortitude, and of spiritual victory, as his teammate in life?  The husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23), but as My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding so humorously points out, a head is nothing without the neck that supports it.  A virtuous wife brings out the best in her husband because of her love for Christ.

You, as a virtuous wife, are not just far above rubies in the eyes of your husband.  You are priceless in the eyes of God.  What He paid in order to have you with Him in eternity was a price far greater than diamonds or gold or rubies.  It was the blood of His own son.₃  You are precious.  You are valued.  You are treasured.  A virtuous wife surrenders first to Christ, receiving the price that He paid for her and accepting that she is a daughter of the King of Kings worth more than rubies.  Then will her virtue exude from her words and actions into her marriage and to the city gates.

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₁ Henry, Matthew. Matthew Henry Commentary on the Whole Bible (Complete).  Accessed 29 February 2012. http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/matthew-henry-complete/proverbs/31.html

₂ Gill, John. John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible. Accessed 29 February 2012. http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/proverbs-31-10.html

₃ Gill, John. John Gill’s Exposition of the Bible. Accessed 29 February 2012.http://www.biblestudytools.com/commentaries/gills-exposition-of-the-bible/proverbs-31-10.html