The Sweet Christian Bride

Featured Resource: The 5 Love Languages

The 5 Love Languages:

The Secret to Love that Lasts

By Gary Chapman

Summary: Chapman believes that much like people speak different languages, we also love in different languages.  The five love languages, as he determined, are words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.  Depending on what a spouse’s primary love language is, different words or acts are needed to fill his or her “love tank.”

Value: This book has changed dying marriages into flourishing ones.  The reason why is that most spouses do not speak the same love language.  Most of us speak in the one we want to receive, which means if our primary love language is not that of our spouse, then we are not speaking the language that he or she needs to hear in order to know he or she is loved.  The result often is that both spouses are exasperated that their spouse feels unloved even though they are doing everything they know to show love.  They are simply missing each other, like trying to tell someone something in a language that he or she doesn’t understand.  It doesn’t matter that one spouse is “saying” love if the other isn’t “comprehending” love.

By understanding these five categories, a husband or wife can learn truly simply (not necessarily easy) words or actions that can fill his or her spouse’s “love tank.”  With “love tanks” full, a marriage flourishes.

The 5 Love Languages is written by a Christian, but it’s not churchy.  Even non-Christian couples would read and appreciate the wisdom in this book.  It’s a great one to have on-hand to give to a couple who is struggling.

Highlights: Chapman spends a good deal of time showing what a love language is before he ever describes it, so by the time he explains it, the context is there for it to really make sense.  Each love language chapter also has a list of suggestions for a spouse to try if his or her spouse’s primary love language is that particular one.

He spends a chapter on how to determine what your love language is, as well as includes a profile for a husband and another for a wife that they can take to help them determine their primary love languages.

If questions arise, Chapman also includes a lengthy section on frequently asked questions.  They are simple to navigate through and helpful for more personalized direction with love languages.

Rating: 5 stars.  This book has changed more marriages (at least that I know of) than any other book other than the Bible itself.  And the great thing is it’s so simple.  I had heard talks on love languages before I ever read this book, and even though I was already applying the wisdom (it’s that simple), I still learned new things.  In fact, I finally determined what my own love language is.  Get this book.  It will change your marriage, friendships, and parenting because people will finally be able to receive the love that you are giving.