The Sweet Christian Bride

So, When Is the Wedding?

by admin on April 4, 2013 in Budget, Logistics, Venue with No Comments

Now that you are engaged, the big question that people will be asking you is, “When is the wedding?”  For many brides, this can be an overwhelming question because of the tension between wanting to be married as soon as possible and having enough time to plan the perfect wedding.

Chris and I have found that six to nine months of engagement is an ideal time frame for most couples.  It’s enough time to do all the planning and pre-marital counseling, while not delaying the marriage an unreasonable duration.

Whether this time-frame is suitable for you and your fiancé is a question of several factors:

  • What availability does your location have? Sometimes the time-frame comes down to a purely logistical rationale.  If your location is already determined, then you are only as flexible as its availability.
  • What flexibility does your work allow? Most of us are limited by the number of vacation days we are allowed by our employer and by when the “busy season” of work is.  If leaving for a week-long honeymoon at the end of the quarter will turn your company upside-down, then you should plan your honeymoon at a different time of the year.  If you desire to take your honeymoon directly after your wedding, then your wedding must also be at a different time of year.
  • When can other people come? If there are certain people you must have at your wedding, then you need to check with them regarding your potential dates.  This can be a real game-changer if you are planning around a friend or relative who is terminally ill or one who will be deployed such that their availability is out of their control.
  • What season do you prefer? You may or may not have a particular season in mind as you dream up your perfect wedding.  If so, you might have a rather short or a rather long engagement depending on when your fiancé proposed.
  • Can you afford a peak-season wedding?  No matter your budget, you will always be able to find some location that will suit your needs.  If you have your heart set on one particular location, however, you might find the peak season rates to be drastically more expensive than the off-peak season rates.  Depending on your budget, you might need to change months.
  • What kind of wedding-planning help do you have?  Many brides are working full-time and planning the wedding themselves.  If that is the case for you, then your wedding-planning will take longer than if you are unemployed or have a wedding planner.  Given the help that you have, how much time do you need to plan your wedding?
  • Do you have any major life transitions coming up (aside from getting married)? Often people will opt to wait to get married until they graduate or until they move or until they have their surgery, etc.  Do you have any significant upcoming events that will absorb your focus and deplete your energy or joy?  If so, you might be wise to wait until that event is over or until that transition occurs.
  • Are you putting yourself in the face of temptation?  As 1 Corinthians 7:9 says, “But if they [the unmarried] cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”  You might need to speed up your wedding planning and just get married.  I’ve had many friends move their two-plus-year engagements up significantly because they didn’t want to wait anymore to be married, and not just in terms of their sexual passion but also of the other benefits of being married.  When you find the one you want to spend forever with, sometimes the major life transitions, the season, the honeymoon, the location, and all other determining factors don’t seem significant enough to delay you from being husband and wife.

Pray about it and be in unity with your fiancé.  Whichever date you choose, whether far or near, backwards map your time line and stick to it.  That way, you will know when you need to ask for help in order to keep pace.  You’ll do a great job planning your perfect wedding!

Photo © Todd Kuhns, Studio 12 Photography

Article was originally published on March 16, 2011 under the name “When To Get Married.”

By Lindsay

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