The Sweet Christian Bride

The No Show

by admin on September 28, 2011 in Guest List, Logistics with No Comments

Something that I wish someone had told me before my wedding day is that, inevitably, some guest will not show up. 

Thankfully, I wasn’t keeping an eye on the name cards to see who was there and who wasn’t.  And most tables were full, so it didn’t look like anyone was missing.

But there was.

I didn’t remember receiving a phone call or an email prior to the event giving me a heads up.  Even after the wedding, there was no explanation for this person’s absence until I called and asked.  His reason was understandable, and even I think it was probably better that he didn’t come.  It was just a shock to me that someone would RSVP yes and then just not show up.

Two other no-shows at our wedding are still to this day unaccounted for.  He and his wife were in a group of friends that came to the wedding, but he himself was not very close to us.  After the wedding, the relationship faded before ever giving closure to their mysterious absence.

After planning a wedding and knowing that a LOT of money is spent per person, I have learned to always RSVP in a timely manner.  If there is a last minute emergency that keeps me away, I would let someone know (probably not the bride and groom because they will be busy) as a courtesy.

This courtesy would seem like a no-brainer, but the weird thing is, every single bride I have ever talked to about it has also had at least one mysterious no-show.  It’s such an odd thing to think that someone close enough to be invited to a wedding wouldn’t contact someone before the wedding when they learn that they can’t be there, but everyone has a reason, I suppose. 

I don’t know that learning this is a phenomenon makes me feel better or worse.  I certainly feel less hurt by the unannounced absence of those guests, but I wish this weren’t a common occurrence at weddings.

All that to say, expect that someone will be a no-show.  If you expect it, then it’s easier to handle the loss.  Remember, it’s not you.  It’s just one of those things that happens.

By Lindsay

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