The Sweet Christian Bride

The Secret to Better Sex

by admin on February 2, 2012 in Logistics, Purity, Relationship with No Comments

You want to know the secret to better sex?

First thing first: have sex in marriage only.  That as a starting point, here it is…the big tip….

Scale down your schedule.

Huh?  What does my to-do list have to do with my sex life?

Women, especially, if you are too tired, your sex life will suffer.  Start cutting things out.  Though they might be good things and giving them up comes with a loss, and though that might mean paying for someone to take that item off your plate, the cost that you incur for prioritizing your marriage will pay off infinitely.

After your wedding, you and your husband will soon figure out what time of the day is your prime.  Often these don’t match up, or if they do, a job or other hurdles get in the way.  Assuming that most of us will be functioning sexually outside of our prime hours, we need to be rested in mind, body, and spirit so we aren’t functioning in survival mode every time we have sex.

Get consistent sleep, maintain regular exercise, and protect daily worship.  Those three elements can drastically reduce the stress on your libido.  If those three activities throw you into a panic because you just don’t have enough time, then you are exactly whom I am talking to.

No matter how long you work, how many kids you have, or how many commitments you “have” to keep, you can always find time if you want it enough.  And, yes, that means cutting something out.  More time and better sex!  What a freedom!  What a win!  Dr. Kevin Leman says in his book Sheet Music, “If you’re not having sex with your spouse at least two or three times a week, you’re too busy”(186).

Start scaling back now while you are engaged, knowing that as your schedules merge and as kiddos come, your schedules become more vied for.  Cutting out becomes seemingly impossible because someone gets let down.  Build in the discipline of rest and simplicity starting now.  If you are the one consistently let down, and if your marriage over time wears down, then no one you have been serving in your family at the cost of yourself and your marriage will be better for it in the long-run.

Cut out something and absorb that new-found time with activities that increase your physical energy.  Regain your creative vibrancy.  Rediscover the thrill of spontaneity.  Move out of survival mode so that you can think of your spouse’s sexual needs with cheer and intrigue.

Scaling down your schedule will refresh you so that you can actually enjoy pleasure and service.  Your sex with your husband will drastically improve, as will your overall satisfaction with your marriage.

By Lindsay

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