The Sweet Christian Bride

Thought for the Week: Psalm 39:4-5

by admin on January 15, 2012 in Thought for the Week with No Comments

“Show me, O LORD, my life’s end and the number of my days; let me know how fleeting is my life. You have made my days a mere handbreadth; the span of my years is as nothing before you. Each man’s life is but a breath. ‘Selah'” (Psalm 39:4-5).

I’m an essence girl.  I can’t remember history dates or movie quotes or even the sides of an argument I’ve had, but I can tell you how I felt during that argument, I can tell you whether or not I liked that movie I can’t remember, and I can recite a sweeping summary of history’s story.  For some reason, gists and emotions stick with me longer than numbers and words.

That’s never really bothered me much.  In fact, it makes it easier to stop re-playing bad moments in my mind.   But now that I’m married and delight in someone more than I previously could have imagined, I anticipate the problem in how my memory works.  When a spouse dies in a movie, there is the standard montage of memories of the marriage, either all at once, or peppered throughout the survivor’s character arch.  Each scene is so vivid, so detailed, with music cued in the background to make the audience cry (which I usually do).  It dawned on me that my heart’s slide-show, if Chris were to pass away before me, would be mostly based on how I felt about him, what I remembered of his detailed accounts of our memories, and which details I have captured in photographs.  Scenes with vivid sensory details from my own remembering would be lacking (obviously movie characters have an edge on real people)—not because Chris and I don’t have special, romantic, and adventurous memories but because I move so quickly through life.  Knowing that my memory already struggles with holding details, I realize that I must be intentional about taking in the perceptions of my senses and storing up those details.  I want to remember the strength of his embraces, the fit of his hand in mine, the scent of his hair, and the sound of his laugh.  Knowing each day that this could be either of our last day alive, I’ve been working with God to tuck away these observations and store up sensory details about the ordinary and the momentous.  Every time I’m able to do so, I am overcome with love for Chris and with gratitude for God.  Every time.

Life is too short not to delight in the ones we’ve been given as God’s gift to us.  Our words, our daily pace, and our priorities are best measured with an eternal perspective.  From that comes the greatest joy.

Lord, only You know the number of my days.  You have given me the truest gift of love, the strongest reflection of Your love, in my beloved.  Let me cherish him completely, delight in him with newness each day, and savor him as if today is his last.  Let me never be fooled by anger, irritation, mis-communication, or hurt.  Let love always win because one day he or I will have to release the other into Your presence, and until Jesus comes again, all we will have are the memories that we have saved.  Let them be of the fullest, most selfless love; let them be of Your love through us.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

By Lindsay

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