The Sweet Christian Bride

True Grit

by admin on January 31, 2013 in Faith, Relationship, Vows with No Comments

In an era of 50% divorce rates, unused gym memberships, leased cars, and 3-5 year job tenures, I think I can safely say, we—in general—don’t like commitment.

Stability is great, don’t get me wrong, but that depends on the commitment of others or on the duration of circumstance, neither of which are in our control.  When it comes to our own grit, however, we often throw in the towel.  Whether it’s fear, disinterest, laziness, or trend at the root of it, we hop from job to job, friendship to friendship, and activity to activity without a real willingness to endure or invest.

I have to be so careful to avoid saying, “Yes, let’s get together,” or “I’ll call you,” or even, “I’ll pray for you,” if I’m not really going to do it.  It’s so easy to use filler language so much of the time and pretend it’s meaningful when, in reality, it’s just a protection against our having to follow through if we suddenly become too busy or too tired.

But in the midst of changing tides and moving currents, integrity, endurance, and follow-through become welcomed foundations for rest and trust.  The friends I have whose yes‘s mean yes and whose no‘s mean no stand apart from the rest.  There’s an assurance that I can count on them and that they are saying yes by choice.  When they say no, I trust that it is to protect me from a false yes.  Friends who follow through demonstrate love by showing you that you are worth a commitment.

The reason why committed friends are such a relief and refreshment is because they are exhibiting an image of God’s faithfulness.  God’s love is steadfast, and His commitments are sure.

Of course God is merciful to understand that we are just human, and we will betray, rebel, and flee even against Him who is perfect, but that’s why having the Holy Spirit in us is so incredibly powerful.  Through the Spirit, we can love as God loves.  We can be faithful as God is faithful because it is God’s strength and trust that is acting through us.

So how does all this affect one’s commitment in marriage?  How do people have enough grit to stay together for a lifetime even through seasons of tragedy and despair?

The core thread in the answer to this question is our commitment to obeying God.  When you and your groom vow before your congregation to love each other until death do you part, you are also vowing before God.

Vows are not just filler language that is part of wedding tradition, but rather they are the crux of your marriage.  Your vows are what make you married, not the homily, not the kiss, not the bouquet.

Pastor Peter Beers so eloquently said at a wedding:

“The vows you make before these witnesses today are holy, set apart because you not only make these promises to one another but also to your Father in heaven.

The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 5:4-5, ‘When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.’

Vows are precious gifts that only you can give to the other and their fulfillment stands as a testimony to a world that longs to see true love lived out to the glory of God. “

Your marriage can be a testimony as you commit to each other against the grain of our era.  Just as Jesus has loved you, when you love one another, others will know that you are Christ’s disciples (John 13:34-35).


Article originally published on February 11, 2011.

By Lindsay

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