The Sweet Christian Bride

Young Marrieds

by admin on January 26, 2012 in Faith, Purpose, Relationship with No Comments

Chris and I arrived home from our honeymoon on a Thursday.  That Sunday we attended our church’s Young Marrieds group, and that following Wednesday, we were plugged into a married couples’ small group.  From week one of being married, we were surrounded by other Christian couples who were going through the same stage of life we were.  We all prayed for each other, we learned about marriage with one another, and we had fun together.  Young Marrieds was a dream come true.

Then, the unthinkable happened.

One of the couples in Young Marrieds filed for divorce.  How this happened right under our noses baffled us.  Chris and I went through the past several months, racking our brains for signals we should have seen.  We didn’t know this couple well since we were still relatively new, and we always assumed their sporadic attendance was attributed to his job and that their awkward dynamic was a result of their quirky personalities.  When they stopped coming altogether, we thought it was just a busy season in their lives.  They would surely be back once things settled down.

That’s when Chris and I realized that Young Marrieds was more than a dream come true; it was a life-line.  We vowed that never again would a marriage slip away under our noses if there was anything we could do to prevent that.  Our understanding of the fragility of marriage when it’s outside of the community of the Church heightened, and we kept our eyes open for other tell-tale signs of struggling marriages around us.

Of course, we found some, and for the rest of our lives, we will continue to find some.  In this day and age, even in the church, there will be desperate struggles in marriages.  Your own marriage will not go unchallenged by the lures of our culture, the weakness of your own flesh, or by the enemy’s forces.  But actively putting yourself in a community of fellow married believers can help you overcome attacks against your marriage.

Through Young Marrieds, we have become equipped with an arsenal of tools for good communication, healthy sex lives, Godly finances, intentional future planning, complementary domestic roles, mutual boundaries, and so many other necessary components to a thriving marriage.  What Chris and I have benefited from the most, however, is the strength that comes with authentic community.

Encouragement, accountability, like-minded entertainment, and tangible aid are four by-products of authentic, Christ-centered community.  Being able to share what’s going on and have other couples who know you affirm that you’re doing a good job or that there is light at the end of the tunnel fuels our endurance tanks when they are getting dry.  And having a third-party to help Chris and me with our goals is much more effective than he and I being our own accountability partners.  Knowing that there are other people who can relax and kick back while still honoring the Lord has filled our weekends with glorifying fun.  And knowing that meals would come and rides would be offered if Chris or I were to be sick or when we have a child relieves the burden of trying to make it through life alone.

No matter where you live, you can find a Young Marrieds ministry of some sort.  Even if it is bringing together a Bible study of married couples, get involved at the earliest possible opportunity.  If you are in the LA area, Bel Air Presbyterian Church has a thriving marriage ministry.  Pacific Crossroads Church has recently started one, and Water’s Edge is launching one on February 11, 2012.

If you know of a great ministry for newly married couples in your area, please add a comment to this post.  Sometimes being in the thick of a new life transition can make doing one’s own research very overwhelming.  Your comment could be the help that another couple needs to position themselves in the proper support for a healthy marriage.

By Lindsay

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